Textures and Painting

I have learned something about myself and painting.

I really loathe…. do NOT like… textured paintings.
The texture makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like the look or feel of it. I also noticed that it makes me feel overwhelmed and my anxiety just shoots up… like from zero to a hundred in a second.

I am reminded of how some people do not like to eat certain foods because of the texture….. that is me with texture in painting. I am finding that I prefer everything to be smooth and flat.

This awareness hit me as I was practicing flowers… (see photo)…. it has some texture because of how I was applying the paint. The texture just made me feel ewwwwwwwwww. The more that I reflected on the painting, the more I became aware that the texture was causing me epic cringe feelings.

florals by ravennightsong

This awareness expanded as I reflected on other paintings I had painted that had texture. I would immediately get rid of them as soon as I painted them because they made me feel uneasy. We’re not talking of merely gesso-ing over them. No. I literally threw them in the trash and took the trash out immediately.

This insight as a I was practicing painting with these flowers really hit me like a ton of bricks.

Now over the past couple of days, I have been doing another practice painting and noticed the texture…. nope. NO. Absolutely not! I stepped back and looked at it and my anxiety soared. The realization of “I LOATHE the textures” in painting hit hard.

I really like smooth and flat paintings.
Textured paintings creep me out.

It is intriguing how awareness works in identifying causes of anxiety within us.

And so the art journey continues… with some new insight. 🙂